last night was my first show and probably last at bills bar since its closing its doors. the staff was pretty fucking stupid..they wouldn't take paper ID's.. i don't get these new rules at shows. bouncers/staff think they have such huge ego's and big dicks and just want to ruin your night. allot of ggg's fans didnt get to come out because of it and the venue kinda fucked ehm over' ah well was still a good show.
nothing is more fun than making fun of the really shitty bands (One being there cd release party. and there other first show..god lets hope its there last). with the band you went to see. Really chill dudes. And i got to see peeps i haven't seen in fucking yeears. it was a ton of fun.. i miss heather and paul.. im glad we let bad blood dissolve XD. and nick that bastard... if i wasn't broke ida so shown him up. Jay and his godamn secret ninja art... he always finds a way to disappear and then reappear. lulz.
saw a kid that looked like a mexican version of MC chris and he was a total douche bag. speaking of MC chris he'll be here in april.. exxciiiteeed. :D headline show too <3.> what makes a horree happy.
a few months from now life will be different, not so sure where im going but ill be soo much happier not living with this german loser. things are going to change, im done saying they will and im going to make it so.
but this post was about good friends, good times, and good memories. Fuck whining about the present. GG posse reunion.. More to COME!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
destroy yourself, see who gives a fuck.
Oh man i really needed last night. I enjoy the whole laughing so fucking much it hurts your insides. I really need to surround myself with people more.. should make me feel a little bit more sane. Sometimes i really push myself into a horrible mental state by over analyzing and thinking to harshly about shit, i wish there was a way to stop me from doing that.. but i get it from my mother.. she's the same way.
Something happened last night that was funny in the moment but kinda sad at the same time. I wish things like that happened more often.. minus the sad part. bahh who the fuck carrres.
one of my friends finally has transportation so that hopefully means us hanging out. i miss talking to the boy deathly. we talked alot years ago and i was of course being my stupid blind bat self to things. who knows what will happen now i need cuddles before i go into a deep cuddle-less withdrawal ! ! heh. bear hugggs for the winnn.
work kicked my ass this past weekend.. being there for 14 hours was kinda crazy. it ended up with me erric and benny sitting in the hub watching adult swim till ofcourse i nodded in an out of a coma and then going home in the stupid rain an snow. thank god for joe giving us a ride or sitting on the T i probably woulda ended up somewhere drooling on a unsuspecting passenger.
i wish my paycheck wasn't bled dry this week the moment i got it.. i need some new things. Ahhh well.. money money money... i hate the shit.. i work and work and it just goes byebye as soon as i get it. I really want to go to NYC or something. Boston is pissing me off lately.
Oh well.. ramble ramble.
Something happened last night that was funny in the moment but kinda sad at the same time. I wish things like that happened more often.. minus the sad part. bahh who the fuck carrres.
one of my friends finally has transportation so that hopefully means us hanging out. i miss talking to the boy deathly. we talked alot years ago and i was of course being my stupid blind bat self to things. who knows what will happen now i need cuddles before i go into a deep cuddle-less withdrawal ! ! heh. bear hugggs for the winnn.
work kicked my ass this past weekend.. being there for 14 hours was kinda crazy. it ended up with me erric and benny sitting in the hub watching adult swim till ofcourse i nodded in an out of a coma and then going home in the stupid rain an snow. thank god for joe giving us a ride or sitting on the T i probably woulda ended up somewhere drooling on a unsuspecting passenger.
i wish my paycheck wasn't bled dry this week the moment i got it.. i need some new things. Ahhh well.. money money money... i hate the shit.. i work and work and it just goes byebye as soon as i get it. I really want to go to NYC or something. Boston is pissing me off lately.
Oh well.. ramble ramble.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
ive got nothing it's true but this song now.
So last night I got to check out the new venue that opened on lansdowne st (House of Blues) pretty incredible. Glad we have a venue like this back in town.. now bands can actually decide they want to play here...i.e.. gwar and lamb of god.
HU put on a pretty amazing show for being a bunch of scene rappers with tween fans. they did a stripped version of a song i liked looootss it sounded amazing. and they played everything i wanted to hear.. sadly they didn't play much of the old noise but.. Meh. they came out and did an encore with Number 5. and opened w/Undead and mashed alot of good shit in between.
I love how shows make me feel.. it really did sort of shake the worry feeling off my shoulders. The whole atmosphere and not thinking about anything else is a great feeling. Music is my love. I also got to see Jay whom i haven't seen in a fucking minute.. even tho he lives not that far from me at all..Heh..Oliver came out too and surprisingly enjoyed HU. XD .. my disease is spreading.
I feel a bit better in my head for the time being.. but who knows how long it will last. I really just need to stop worrying about the future and try to make sense of it. Lies tend to piss me off though. You think you know people and then the little trust you have built in them meant nothing. But then again i shouldn't be complaining about that shit its nothing new at all.
Someone told me something along the lines the other day about Life being different had something happened. That kind of shit fucks with you. Even though you know it yourself it would be. Ah well. Not that path i was heading. Still love the kid to death and hope his situation works out..I hate seeing bad things happen to good people.
Fuck it right?
Time to do my favorite sleep thing...
HU put on a pretty amazing show for being a bunch of scene rappers with tween fans. they did a stripped version of a song i liked looootss it sounded amazing. and they played everything i wanted to hear.. sadly they didn't play much of the old noise but.. Meh. they came out and did an encore with Number 5. and opened w/Undead and mashed alot of good shit in between.
I love how shows make me feel.. it really did sort of shake the worry feeling off my shoulders. The whole atmosphere and not thinking about anything else is a great feeling. Music is my love. I also got to see Jay whom i haven't seen in a fucking minute.. even tho he lives not that far from me at all..Heh..Oliver came out too and surprisingly enjoyed HU. XD .. my disease is spreading.
I feel a bit better in my head for the time being.. but who knows how long it will last. I really just need to stop worrying about the future and try to make sense of it. Lies tend to piss me off though. You think you know people and then the little trust you have built in them meant nothing. But then again i shouldn't be complaining about that shit its nothing new at all.
Someone told me something along the lines the other day about Life being different had something happened. That kind of shit fucks with you. Even though you know it yourself it would be. Ah well. Not that path i was heading. Still love the kid to death and hope his situation works out..I hate seeing bad things happen to good people.
Fuck it right?
Time to do my favorite sleep thing...
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Even if tomorrow forces me to live My days will not change.
music is what keeps my heart beating. it's truly an art form that is underestimated sometimes. It can make you feel countless feelings and strike you in so many ways. It can make you laugh.. cry your eyes out..get you pumped.. help you conquer your fears..ease your pain..be the soundtrack to you pixel killing and sometimes just make you forget.
it's my vice. if i ever lost my hearing id find the nearest shotgun and do some wall painting.
Why are things in a sick reoccurring cycle for my life right now? So lucky to have the people in my life that I do or I'd probably have gone nuts years ago with my terrible redundant doubting game my brain likes to play. 5 months to a brighter living I can't wait. Shaking off the baggage will hopefully give me that inspiration to what I mentioned before to happen. Maybe it ll give me that reason to try and make it happen. Seeing that wall and slamming my head into it for so long is getting pretty painful and I'm getting to the point of losing too much fucking blood.
It kind of annoys me when people are there to use your advice and your shoulder until they're 'cured' of there misfortunes. But that's also what you get for sticking your neck out in the first place. Double Edged Swords.. They're a bitch.
You can either seek out what you find to be happiness or you can recoil and make what you have your happiness and stop wondering what if. Self doubt makes people do some crazy shit. YOU CANNOT change people so STOP trying. Stop hurting yourself over something you can't control.
Life is too short to find a rhyme or reason.
I know all of this is so uplifting. and whoever may decide to take the time to read this may or may not get anything from it. I'm not trying to change lives.. Just get what's on my chest off.. because I can't fit all that on there.
I wish I was cat . naps on heaters, chin rubs an cuddles are all I need to function properly. The rest is all filler.
"You know.. food should be free...people NEED that shit.."
"Free Doritos?? WHAT THE FUCK!"
Meow.
it's my vice. if i ever lost my hearing id find the nearest shotgun and do some wall painting.
Why are things in a sick reoccurring cycle for my life right now? So lucky to have the people in my life that I do or I'd probably have gone nuts years ago with my terrible redundant doubting game my brain likes to play. 5 months to a brighter living I can't wait. Shaking off the baggage will hopefully give me that inspiration to what I mentioned before to happen. Maybe it ll give me that reason to try and make it happen. Seeing that wall and slamming my head into it for so long is getting pretty painful and I'm getting to the point of losing too much fucking blood.
It kind of annoys me when people are there to use your advice and your shoulder until they're 'cured' of there misfortunes. But that's also what you get for sticking your neck out in the first place. Double Edged Swords.. They're a bitch.
You can either seek out what you find to be happiness or you can recoil and make what you have your happiness and stop wondering what if. Self doubt makes people do some crazy shit. YOU CANNOT change people so STOP trying. Stop hurting yourself over something you can't control.
Life is too short to find a rhyme or reason.
I know all of this is so uplifting. and whoever may decide to take the time to read this may or may not get anything from it. I'm not trying to change lives.. Just get what's on my chest off.. because I can't fit all that on there.
I wish I was cat . naps on heaters, chin rubs an cuddles are all I need to function properly. The rest is all filler.
"You know.. food should be free...people NEED that shit.."
"Free Doritos?? WHAT THE FUCK!"
Meow.
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